Sunday, June 19, 2011

Happy Father's Day to my Dad

My dad is amazing, especially in these last 9 months. I ALWAYS knew how much my dad loved my mom. He has always been there for her and supported her in her every endeavor-- all her crafts, sewing, painting, home remodels, and yes even cancer. I can't possibly show you all the love that I have seen exemplified in my parents over the past 36 1/2 years of marriage but what I can show you is just a few snippets of my dad's updates about my mom.

Today is Sunday. Once again, I will go to church without her. Last week was the first time since her first surgery September 1st that we have both had to miss because of all these events. We like going to church and serving. For the most part I have been able to keep up with the bishoping (I don’t know if that is a real word. The spell checker in Word didn’t think so and gave “barhopping” as the suggestion. That made me smile.) I am grateful to counselors and others who have responded when asked to do things. Today is also the fifth Sunday and the Bishopric will teach a combined Priesthood and Relief Society meeting. I have felt to talk about “Intimacy” in marriage. I know of no other relationship as intimate as marriage. In many ways, our relationship with the Spirit, our Savior and Father in Heaven parallels some of this. The marriage covenant itself is incredible. Obviously, as we individually strive to keep the commandments and do what we are supposed to there are blessings that accrue to us individually. The choicest, however, come as we work together in that process of becoming “one”. We only have some 36 years experience at this, but are learning. There are experiences, thoughts, feelings and words that are only shared within the bonds of marriage. Sometimes people feel that they need to share some of this or their concerns to others. I guess that it is somewhat the same as people feeling the need to share their experiences that they have with the Spirit. There are rare situations where this may be appropriate, but the vast majority of the time it is not helpful. Indeed, with regard to our marriages, we must do all that we can to protect this relationship by always staying within the appropriate bounds and being absolutely true and faithful. This includes preserving and protecting the intimacy of marriage. Well, this is the part of what they will hear today (if you are in our ward and see this before church, I hope that you will still come). Candy and I have experienced things that only we have, have thought about things that only we have, and have faced things uniquely also. What they are is not really the issue, but that they have enriched our lives and relationship is. Marriage is absolutely incredible and just gets better and ultimately we have the opportunity for it to continue forever. Of course, having the best wife in the world makes it easier on guys like me. The wonderful thing is that in every marriage, individuals have the best spouse in the world.
She's Pretty Cute
Candy and I have also enjoyed some special time together. It is wonderful to be totally and completely in love.

Candy made it home today and is doing great. No IVs, no monitors, just her gastric tube and we can disconnect that at times. She is loving being unteathered. We arrived home about 3:30 and all five of her sisters were here, Carrie, Shad and his family, Amber and her family and Tyler. The sisters had planned an early birthday party so there were balloons and cake and everything. Candy enjoyed some pureed soup. The sisters watched a movie together and have been in the living room talking for the last couple of hours. It reminds me of August 1974 when I went and visited Candy and her family before we were engaged. I watched their conversations go around and around and change topic about 10 times each round. Let's just say things haven't changed much --- except for one thing. This time I did not have to observe the entire time and could simply go in to the other room.

There is a normalcy to having Candy home. It is hard to describe, but our home is filled. We are grateful. In thanking the doctors and nurses and a kind Father in Heaven, it is amazing how healing gratitude is. Another great day with more to come.

These have been some great days. I think I have said that Candy is amazing before. If you forgot, let me repeat that she is amazing. Our home is an incredibly special place. When I wrote a week or what seemed forever ago that she would come home and there would be a “fullness” to life, I didn’t fully realize just how full it would or could be. It is difficult to describe. Each day is wonderful and yet, in many ways, normal.
Candy is slowing down to a pace that we can start to keep up with her. She remains the strongest person I have ever known. She is now at the weight she was when we got married. I can’t say that about me. She continues to influence all in so many good ways. It is wonderful to just be together and have feelings for each other that just deepen and deepen. She is as cute as ever. Today is Father’s Day. Being a father with her as your companion makes for a great journey. She is to me as Photoshop is to some flawed photos.


1 comment:

Amy said...

I just read the last four blog posts and they made me teary-eyed. Your thoughts on your dad, mom's sisters and your mother-in-law. I definitely felt the love you have for them. I think of you often. Hang in there!