I set out and when I hit 3.1 miles (the 5K), I was ready to be done. And then I thought about my mom. She did the sprint for life 5K with a fully collapsed left lung. I took a couple deep breaths and kept going. I got to another fork in the road (one way meant I was almost home and the other meant I still had 2 miles to go -- and it had 4 big series of steep downhills and uphills) and I again thought about my mom -- who thought that after 6 rounds of chemo she would be done and now has faced a much longer road with a lot of ups and downs and I chose the harder, longer way. When I felt thirsty, I thought of my mom who has not been able to eat or drink for 7 days-- and has at least 10-14 days more before she will be able to try to eat again. When I felt tired, I thought of my mom and how tired she is of being in the hospital (20 of the last 24 days and at least 10-14 days more).
I ended up running 6.13 miles. I must have looked ridiculous crying and running. But it was such a cathartic experience. Every song that came on my ipod seemed to be written about my mom and every time I wanted to stop I heard cheering. Yes, real cheering from friends on facebook who made comments (because my new running app posted that I was running). And the cheers made me think of my mom and all the people out there cheering her on.
It made me realize that we can do more than we think we are capable of doing. We can do hard things. I can do hard things. I can run longer than I thought. I can be a better person. I can work harder and be kinder. I can take better care of myself and my family. I can give thanks for the simple things (like drinking water and eating and being at home) instead of impatiently waiting for better things.
After the run, I just enjoyed being home with my husband and kids. We are so blessed. I went grocery shopping and was so thankful for all the food choices out there.
We had an evening all focused on dips. We had steamed shrimp and cocktail sauce, steamed artichokes with a dip, and for dessert?
Ice cream sandwiches dipped into sprinkles. It was yummy.
And then we jumped on the trampoline.
1 comment:
sorry to hear about your mom, it is great that you can accept her trials and take them as an opportunity to grow. you are an inspiration to me. Thanks for the post.
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