Today my mom had surgery. The doctors skillfully opened her up and found a much more advanced and complicated set of tumors than they had anticipated. They had planned to bypass the tumors that were obstructing her small intestine in an effort to restore her digestive functions so that she could begin chemotherapy again. But the tumors had already compromised her too much to be able to accomplish that goal. So they stitched her back up.
What does that mean? It means that now the cancer will get to grow, unhindered, until it wins the battle.
Yes, I have cried. a. lot.
Cried on the phone with my dad. Cried to Trent. Cried with my sisters, and my brothers, and my aunts. Cried while telling Julianne and Catherine. Cried and cried.
And then I remembered this song (from a video my friends husband had made while she was gone) and it was just the song I can imagine my mom would sing to me to cheer me up.
So Trent came home from work early with Subway sandwiches in hand. It was a beautiful day. We headed to a nearby park to spend the evening together as a family. And it was so peaceful. I only wished my mom could see us doing what she would do. She is the perfect blend of planning ahead and spontaneity. She would never let bad news ruin the opportunity to spend an unplanned evening outside when the weather was stunning.
Someday, and I don't know when, she'll get to watch these days from Heaven. But since she is still here fighting the cancercous beast I will have to show her in a video what we did. And I set it to the song that I imagine she would sing to me if she knew it!
(and you can watch in HD)
Here are the lyrics.
This is my song
To carry on
When you have found yourself alone
And I am gone
So I will wait
Every last minute that we have
This is my song to remember me by
When the moon grows long in the sky
And you wonder why goodbyes are bound to be
Life goes on, love, you will see
Think of this tune
When Forget-me-nots bloom
Pick one for me and make a wish
That I will be back soon