Thursday, July 21, 2011

Three weeks

Dear Mommy,

It really doesn't seem possible that you have been away for three weeks. You know how we always joke with the kids that we aren't going to let them grow up -- and how you just want each little stage that is so sweet to last forever? and yet no matter how much you want it they still grow up?

It is like I want to freeze time. To back when you were here. And yet even though it seems like you were just here, already so much has changed. Amber's sweet new baby is here and baby Candace has already gained a whole pound! Owen has learned to pull himself up to standing. Adam can take all his breaths when swimming with ease and just goes all over the pool by himself. (with me closely watching of course!). I finally got those outdoor chairs re-upholstered for you. They look great too! We have started to re-decorate Tyler's room. He and I went looking for paint today (we can't agree). Trent is back in CT working for 2 more weeks before he comes back to TX. We rented out our Katy house for 2 more years! Carrie went to Curacao. Shad and Amy and the kids are on vacation! and I could go on and on.

And these are just the obvious physical changes. We have changed on the inside as well (it just might not seem so obvious). I can't speak for everyone else, but I can just tell you how I have changed. I can't go a minute without wondering if you are watching us. I don't think I truly understood empathy until now. I have cried for so many other people as I can now for the first time truly understand what they are going through. You know when you get a new car and suddenly you see so many of them on the road?? Well, it seems everywhere I turn I see or hear evidence of so many people's lives changed from cancer. I feel vulnerable. I guess I was living in a little bubble thinking nothing bad could ever happen to me or those I love and now -- that bubble has burst. I worry about what else we all might have to endure. There is more, but I am getting tired. I'll have to write more later.

When it is late at night, I love to look at all your photos. I have been working on restoring some of the older ones. I hope you like these. You are so beautiful mom. I love you.


1 comment:

The Sorensen Bunch said...

I have been following you FAITHFULLY...THANK YOU For being a good blogger. You are allowing me to be a part of everything even though I am far away. My heart aches...BUT yours does more and your faily has comforted each of us in return. Thank you for being real. Thank you for sharing her...and thank you for your summer "centers" idea-we copied it. Lotsa Arizona Love!!