It is fun to go back and see them. (sort of)
My hair color changes . . . a lot.
I age. . . a lot.
I leave the pregnant all the time with a baby always on my hip stage.
I enter my 40's.
I still don't know what I am doing, but not for lack of trying . . .
Over the past decade I have taken tap dance, zumba, hip hop and tennis lessons. I have taken piano, voice, and guitar. I will still drop everything to play any sport. I can turn anything into a competition, but I absolutely don't mind losing. That just means I better play more. I have tried thousands of recipes, listened to countless podcasts and books, read a lot (or a little) depending on the year. I have slowly, slowly taken back my body from the toll of 8 pregnancies in 10 years and 5 beautiful healthy children. I've done triathlons and half marathons and lots of 5K's. I have worked in graphic design. I started 2 photography businesses. I renewed my teaching license and have done some contract work and subbing. I've advocated for causes I believe strongly in and fought against things I didn't like. I've read Harry Potter to 4 of 5 kids (and am just starting on the 5th). I've blogged and journaled -- sometimes every day and sometimes not for a year or more at a time. I've written poetry and plotted out several books. I've wasted lots of time. I've done tons of laundry. I've watched a lot of TV.
I have a new appreciation for all parents of teenagers. I wish I could call my mother and say I'm sorry for having been a typical teenage girl.
I weighed 141 this morning and am still 5' 4''. All three of my girls are taller than me. Adam is getting close.
I have done a lot of laughing - way more laughing than crying.
I've lost my mother to cancer and that has changed me more than anything.
I told one of my kids this week that 83% of the time I am a pretty good mother, but sometimes I just don't know what I am doing and there isn't a manual to read, and I hope that the 83% of good mothering can compensate for the 17% of crappy mothering.
I've been married for 22 of my 42 years. Wow. Trent has been by my side supporting me through everything -- (and vacuuming). I suspect I'm not the easiest person to live with. I always have 100 things going on at once. He doesn't ever complain and spoils me. There are almost always fresh flowers in the house. He gives amazing thoughtful gifts (and I am not the strongest in the thoughtful gift giving arena, but I'm learning).
My siblings and in-laws and step family are great. Just when you think you can't add one more person to love, you are proven wrong.
And I have amazing friends. absolutely amazing friends. You all know who you are. The world of parenting 5 kids is both incredibly isolating and lonely and also crazy busy and social. There is so much hurry up and wait. There is tons of let's try this again. And there is so. much. driving.
42 years young. Blonde hair dye and eyelash extensions are doing their best to help me look young!
It's a privilege to grow older.
